Journal Entry 4 10.09.15

Tuesday and Wednesday was the hardest two days of my life. I couldn't even look at my best friend laying there cold and gone. To top it all off because of the upset and stress my feet and ankles look like balloons and I have been getting daily migraines. My Master had been so supportive of me and even though I am fine, he still worries about me and the baby. I know now that the funeral is over and my friend is in the ground, that I will be able to move on and try to function as a normal person. The pain is still there, but I have been able to control it better, mostly by not thinking about it. Am I a bad person for missing my friend but trying to push his memory to the back of my mind so that I can have some sort of a normal life again? This evening I will be taking a beer up to the cemetery and pouring it over his grave so that he can have one last beer. Then maybe that will suffice as the goodbye I couldn't say at the funeral. On the plus side my Master is allowing me to recolor my hair, get a pedicure, and I'm pretty sure he will be ok with me getting the dead ends cut off my hair as long as it doesn't get cut to short.